in which you see that things are not as they seem

My parents have known it for a while, but on Monday I finally spoke it out loud: I do not like getting rid of things.

We were cleaning up before we had Andrew and Lisa over for dinner on Monday night, shoving things in cabinets and (this is embarrassing) under the bed.  After they left, I looked around and realized how much I love a clean, tidy, and close-to-spotless house.

So I spent yesterday trying to take care of the items we had hidden out of sight.

For example, I still had all of the RSVPs from our wedding.  In their original envelopes.  Some (and by some I mean maybe 10) of our friends and family had written sweet things in reply or had decorated the envelope, so that justified keeping all one hundred of them.  Obviously.  So yesterday I recycled 90% of them.  Maybe by our next anniversary I’ll be ready to part with the rest of them.

One thing I did after we got married and started using all of our wonderful wedding gifts was keep packaging.  Let me explain.  A knife, a cake pan, a herb mill – they all come with some manner of packaging.  For some reason, I thought I should keep all of it.  Literally all of it.  Perhaps I thought that if we really loved the pie plate, we would want to remember what company made it, what size it was, and where it was made so we could buy another.  Honestly, I don’t know what I was thinking.  (I wasn’t.)  All I know is it took up a good portion of the built-in desk that we really like but has been relegated to storing things like packaging ever since I married Danny.  (Danny lived in this apartment by himself before we got married and it was SO clean.  For example, the desk was an actual desk back those in those days.)

One place that we didn’t put things was the fridge.  However, I still managed to find something scary there.


That was once a full size, normal looking carrot.

Bet you’ll never want to come over to our house for dinner after seeing that, am I right?

And now that the desk is usable for the first time since I moved in, I decided to use it this afternoon to write my grandparents a letter.  It was so nice!  (Usually I sit on the floor leaning up against our bed to do such things, so sitting in an actual chair and using a surface aside from my lap is a big deal.  Much less ache-and-pain inducing.)

In the interest of full disclosure, I figure I could confess a few more things.  One, while dealing with the desk area, I found every single receipt from every single wedding gift we received.  (I have since recycled 95% of them).  Two, I found more things that I bought with Bed, Bath, and Beyond gift cards (last March) and still haven’t opened.  (We will be returning those tonight so we can finally buy a blender instead.)  Three, I uncovered a Kindle that my mom gave me last May.  It is in its original packaging which means I have never used it.  My goal for the next week is to at least open the box.

So now I think it’s clear that anyone who ever thought my life was perfect and pretty now realizes that it’s a facade and everything is actually hiding under the bed and in Danny’s childhood dresser.  But no more, my friends, no more.  We are in the market for a new bookshelf so that things will be out in the open instead.


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